My Mother’s Gift…One Daughter’s Realization

My Mothers Gift by Trish Norman-Figueiredo
My Mother’s Gift…

My Mother’s Gift has lived in the shadows and my journey has always been my own…


As I make my way toward my next milestone birthday in a few years, I often find myself contemplating within moments of deep reflection as to the woman I have become…the choices I’ve made and the sorrowful times I’ve overcome.

And because I am now the Mother of grown children, I realize that I have slowly learned to have an appreciation for everything that my own Mother has given me…

And although she may think I am perpetually passing judgment on her and holding on to the shadows of yesterday when I speak of my complicated childhood and the craziness of its dysfunction, I want to reassure her that no longer does it come from a place of judging, but from a deep understanding and gratitude of who she is…

My speaking about the difficulties of my childhood is necessary because it reminds me of the reasons I am the woman that I am today…that my strength of character and my ability to move forward and continue my life in a way that I would hope to make her proud, is because of this dysfunction and adversity that I have traversed in my youth. The resilience and tenacity with which I have always faced my greatest challenges and adversaries stems directly from that which should have left me broken, but instead has provided me with a great gift.

I now know that she has always done the best that she could with the tools that she had, and that she has always fundamentally wanted the best for me, even though at times it may not have felt that way.

I have also come to discern that my feelings of resentment, anger, insecurity and sadness were my own to struggle with…and although I could never make her be the person whom I thought she should be, that was ok, because by her not being who I thought she should be and instead just being who she is….she has helped me to be who I am now.

And so when I write of these things, or talk of these things or share these things, I want her to know from the bottom of my heart that it is never meant to hurt, or to make her feel as though she were a bad Mother or in any way inadequate…

For I am truly proud to say that she is my mother, and I am proud to say that I am her daughter, because the lessons that I’ve learned, as hard as they may have been, were a gift from her to me

She is the best that she can be, and for that I love her….

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